Why Access is an Important Part of Unlimited Desire

Following desire creates the world we want to live in

Photo by Lazlo Panaflex on Unsplash

Defining Desire

‘Desire’ derives from the Latin desiderare, ‘to long or wish for’, which itself derives from de sidere, ‘from the stars’, suggesting that the original sense is ‘to await what the stars will bring’. (source)

You can think of desire as an inner compass, guiding you towards what you want most. You are most connected to this inner compass without the distraction of other inputs i.e society, parents, relationships, comparison, self doubt, fear etc.

Inevitably, there came a time when you became disconnected from some of your desires. This happened when your deep desires were in competition against other basic needs such as belonging, connection, and safety. Once you learned to ‘control’ the desire (I see this as desire silencing) to receive those needs, you may have inadvertantly trained your brain to believe that controlling desire is self discipline and self discipline is rewarded. In the long run.

This mindset shift takes you out of the present and gives you a free hall pass to wander the past, and the future.

Congratulations. You did it. You are no longer connected to the desire you have today!

What does Desire have to do with Access?

If your body has forgotten what asking for something and receiving it feels like, you forget that it was a possibility. Your brain forgets that you could do that thing and struggles to bring it out of your long term memory into the now. You no longer remember how good it feels to ask for something and receive it.

In the current world, so many of us are caught up in meeting our basic needs that a robust way to have access to desire fulfilment is by sharing them with others. Sometimes, liberally. Once you’ve shared them out loud, you’ve taken the first step to having them met. This is also the first step to creating the life you desire.

A few things happen when you identify, accept, and share your desires…

Awareness of possibilities

As a human with limited knowledge of the Universe, you may know a lot, and yet, know nothing at all. Embracing the idea that probabilities beyond your imagination exist helps you approach different scenarios with curiosity rather than fear.

If you came here alone, and will leave alone, what others think doesn’t matter. The more you lean into your own curiosity, the more connected you will feel to your desires. The more connected you feel to your desires, the more open you will be to exploring them.

This exploration with others can show you new experiences, different perspectives, ideas, and places. All of the above are a gateway into your own mind. Without exploring your mind this way, you cannot challenge your own limiting beliefs about yourself and your worldview. Until you challenge your own mind, you won’t push your limits to see what else is within your reach. Only because you asked.

Meetings with inner demons

What you see in others is already within you. Keeping that in mind, note that when you feel a negative emotion towards someone, it’s usually information on how you feel in your own life. If you look at others and feel love, it’s because you have love within you. Maybe you can’t look at yourself with love yet. And that’s okay. With access to someone else looking at you with love, you can learn to do the same for yourself.

Instead of being afraid of seeing yourself in a different light, embrace the fact that you don’t know yourself all the way. You’re not supposed to know but you are meant to experience yourself in different ways.

Without access to these experiences, you won’t have an opportunity to reckon with things that scare you or learn about your fears which reduces the probability that you will likely do anything to overcome them.

Trust that your desires are in your best interest even when they seem to bring you pain. Pain is information. Without that information, you won’t know where else to pour love in.

Brainstorming your creations

Humans are creators. You are a human. Therefore, you are a creator. You create your morning cup, your bedtime routine, your love life, your career. You create things.

Connecting with your own desires opens the door for you to create things that you want outside of the expectations of others from you. Through meeting your demons, you begin to see what you truly want for yourself. Which demons to keep and which ones to transform.

When you finally decide who’s on your team, you create from a place of ‘moving towards’ and instead focusing on creating from a place of ‘moving away from’. This energy speeds you up because there are less blocks, and more excitement.

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

What’s stopping you?

An unequal distribution of resource access.

Now…I’m not saying capitalist structures are the devil alone. But they also…aren’t not to blame.

These structures show up in our lives as a routine mindset. If you have to fight tooth and nail to make ends meet, it becomes challenging to want to share your accumulated resources with another person unless you have enough. Everyone’s definition of enough is different. Some of us are future minded when we think of enough; saving for retirement, for instance, is a future minded goal. Others are past minded; mentally believing that they are still living with less because they grew up with less, wanting more by comparison.

The feelings of not enough can lead humans to operate from a place of scarcity: believing that there truly isn’t enough in the world and you must always be prepared to either suffer from lack, or suffer from exhaustion to counter the lack. These emotions can create a disparity between the haves and the have nots.

What’s on the other side?

A quick solution (and I know you know this is not a quick habit to build) is to practice present-mindedness, leaning on the information your body gives you in any given moment. Of course, this means reparenting yourself to connect with your body, believing that your body is telling the truth (which may not be the case — maybe growing up someone primed you into believing that bodies lie because they couldn’t understand the wisdom in yours), and most importantly staying connected to your breath.

All of the things you are wanting lie on the other side of connecting to yourself. And it starts with “mindfulness”. The word we all glaze over because nobody told us what happens on the other side. So here it is. This is one of the things you can look forward to on the other side of mindfuly owning your desires.

******************************************************************

If this piece intrigues you and you would like to have conversations about it, you can find me on Instagram.

If you would like to showcase this piece in your publication, feel free to reach out!

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Natasha Anwar

Natasha Anwar

I write personal observations about psychedelics for mental health, emotional efficiency, and design thinking.