What It Means To “Speak Your Truth”
I’ve heard a lot of people talk about “speaking your truth” recently.
What…is that? So I Googled this phrase and understood this:
‘only speaking out loud what you believe is the truth’
At first, my heart went like ‘oh!’, and then my brain went like ‘oh…’
Which brings me to this post, written under a lot of mental confusion.
Let’s say speaking your truth is essentially just saying what you think is true, which sounds like a heartwarming feeling of freedom and empowerment. But is that how it really feels?
Not for me.
I feel a powerful flood of emotion running through my chest all the way to my tailbone. You might think it’s terrible posture (and you might be terribly correct) but it’s mostly fear.
That purple guy from Disney’s Inside Out. I’m terrified of someone pointing at me and saying,
“Hey, guys! look, it’s stupid from ‘speak your truth’ day.”
It’s me. I’m stupid because I didn’t fact-check my sources and I spoke with emotion or reflex rather than being intrinsically correct.
One instinct screams:
‘YOU'RE ONLY HUMAN!’
and another one sternly says,
‘These are all excuses, you’re a responsible adult who should have their shit together ffs, how can your mouth utter words that paint you in a negative light? Have your parents taught you nothing? What will their social circle say about you? About them?’
This instinct likes to go on for longer most days.
It’s almost as if there was an internal war about something.
As if…I wasn’t perfect.
Almost as if…I was…human…
But being human translates into being imperfect such that you’re constantly learning through experience. So I guess I could ‘only speak out loud what I believe is the truth at that time’ because “that time” will be a compounded chance occurrence based on past events unforeseeing the future.
If this is true, then I’m probably able to apologize for ‘speaking my truth’ after I’ve offended somebody with it. But WHY would I even speak my truth instead of the politically correct form of language?
And will I be forgiven?
Miley Cyrus wasn’t forgiven for wearing (rather, not wearing) her truth. Is that the same? Or is my truth lower value on the regular, only amplified when it’s political because my social net worth is lower value on the regular?
Seems a little unfair to me.
I’m thinking of weaving capitalism into this web but I suddenly saw the face of an orange man with tiny hands in my mind’s eye and I’d like to move past that conversation.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is…
I’m scared of saying things I believe in out loud sometimes because I think someone will bring this up against me later on in life.
They could twist it and turn it and take something cool away from me and it will suck.
Who wants to suck? That’s right. Nobody.
But you know what? Writing this felt great. I didn’t find it difficult.
I found it empowering as hell.
I’m a little less scared of being called stupid today. Even if another human being reads this. Especially, if another human being reads this.
Thanks, Julia Rose. I did it. I wrote AND published my most vulnerable post…yet.